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The Adventures of Kerbin, Celtic and Bonesy
The Wiki was in chaos. Kerbin and Celtic looked on the post-apocalyptic horror set before them, and wondered how they could survive in this hellish world. Bronies, Pegasisters, Vore-addicts, the Wiki was in shambles! The other admins were dead,the regular users were dead, all except for three. Jack Dogeblade, Bonesy,and Godofmemez. Celtic and Kerbin have taken shelter in a modest brick house.They have begun arguing about how to bring them together when Celtic finds some weed. Kerbin: "But how are we supposed to get them here anyway? Bonesy is on a different planet, and Jack and Memez are in Vault 420, which, might I add, has a two ton door that is locked." Celtic: "Duuuuuuuuude, I dont even know m8, I've been smoking some of Bonesies weed,and this is som gewd aes shit maen." Kerbin: "Wait, this is Bonesy's house?" Celtic: "Yeah man, he let me live here after people got mad at my Brony April Fools joke and burned my house down." Flashback to six months ago Celtic walks in,covered in soot and pieces of shit,limping and barely alive. Celtic: "B-bonesy.(kof) (kof) halp pls." Bonesy: "HOLY SHIT! Celtic are you okay?" Celtic: "I need some sleep, man. My furryness will heal me after some sleep." Bonesy: "Okay... But only for a week, until you can support yourself." End flashback Kerbin: "How long have you been here, anyway?" Celtic: "Five months. Anyway, when Bonesy started his space campaign, he left a note on how to get to him." Kerbin: "What does it say?" Celtic: " 'Use this little button to summon me if you need to, but don't use it if it's red'" Kerbin: "Why not?" Celtic: "IDK, thought it said something about it meaning he was doing something important or some shit, but i'm gonna press it." Celtic pushed the button, too high to realize that the button was red. Kerbin: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!" Bonesy was then suddenly in front of them on one knee, in the middle of a speech Bonesy: "So Veronica, will you marry m.....(realizes what happened).....(sigh) Fuck my life. Kerbin: "Bonesy we need help! The bronies have attacked,the pegasisters are bitching about the cutest pony in chat, and the vore addicts are posting their porn in the image sections!" Celtic: "And we're all out of kush, good shit BTW." Bonesy: "This is pretty serious (COULD'VE WAITED THOUGH,ASSHOLES). Kerbin! Punch the third brick from the left on my fireplace." Kerbin punches the right brick. Kerbin:"HOLY FUCKING SHIT COCK-N-BALLS AAAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHH." Celtic: "HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHH OMG WHAT IS AIR EVEN HAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!" Bonesy: "...Dumbass..." Bonesy punches the left brick, revealing a safe vault, which swings open to reveal the Trollpasta Armory Kerbin: "What is this, and why did they entrust this to you?" Celtic: "Dibs on the 420NOSCOPE Rifle." Bonesy: "They entrusted this to me because i hold no grudges towards any staff or members, so i won't misuse these weapons." Celtic begins to fuck around with the 420NOSCOPE Rifle. Celtic: "(Begins to spin around out of control) HOLY SHIT HELP ME PLEASE DEAR GOD!!!" Bonesy: "You're fine, just get outside and shoot supercooled MTN dew at the Bronies." (Celtic begins to get the hang of it, as MLGstep begins to play) Bonesy: "Lemme grab my Bass Cannon. Kerbin! Get the Bow of Flame Wars." Kerbin: "kden." Thus begins the Brony Wars of Three, Celtic 420NOSCOPING every Brony in sight, Kerbin using the Bow of Flame Wars, to burn them with their own arguments, And Bonesy, de-atomizing the with the wubs, I t lasted for 420 days and 360 nights, but in the end, our heroes were victorious. Kerbin and Celtic were searching for the remaining Vore-addicts, while Bonesy remained at the house. Bonesy: "I think we finally got them all... HURK" Bonesy looked at his chest to see the Blade of Bronies exiting his spine, the bronyness surging through his bones, the wielder, AnimeFan, cackling maniacally. AnimeFan: "THIS IS FOR VERONICA,YOU WOMANIZING FUCKER!" Bonesy: "But... I loved her.. (The change begins to affect him) (super-cheery voice) But not as much as i love PINKY PIE!!!" AnimeFan: "You never loved her, (turns his back in a supervillain fashion) you wanted her for her tentacles." Anime didn't see Bonesy reach for his Bass Cannon. AnimeFan: "And she only wanted you because you were flexible." AnimeFan turns around to see a fully charged Bass Cannon, Set to "Motherfucking Nagasaki m8" and heard the last two sentences he would ever hear in his lifetime. Bonesy: "Choo choo, motherfucker." ILL GIVE YOU MAH SOUL,BUT MAH HOPE WILL NEVAH DIE (DROOOOOOOOOOOPPPPP) BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMM. The resulting explosion consumed AnimeFan and Bonesy, destroying them both. Meanwhile, a far distance away,Kerbin and Celtic are searching for the remains of the Vore addicts. Kerbin: "Thats the last of 'em" Celtic: "You know, this stuff is kinda hot. (WTF glare from Kerbin) Just kidding..(or was he?)...(he was)." They hear in the distance "MAH HOPE WILL NEVAH DIE" and look up just fast enough to see a mushroom cloud of bright neon colors erupt from where Bonesy was standing a minute ago. Kerbin: "BONESYYYYYYY!!!!!!" Celtic: "MY WEEEEEEEEEEEDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!" Celtic and Kerbin rushed over to where the saw the Bass Bomb drop, there was nothing left but a mile deep crater. Kerbin: "Holy shit,Celtic,Look." Kerbin had a small patch of fur in his hand. He instantly recognized it as AnimeFan's ear (Because for some odd reason,Kerbin and Anime have a relationship involving ear-knowledge). Celtic: "But why did Bonesy kill Anime and himself?" Then, because plot progression, Bonesy's spine fell out of the air, The Brony Blade still embedded inside. Kerbin: "ANIMEFAN WAS A SLEEPER CELL FOR THE BRONIES!!!!! WHAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTT??????" Celtic: "Wait, how did you come to that conclu...Whatever, don't touch the spine, it's been bronified." But Kerbin saw a small twinkle on the last vertebrae. And even though Celtic JUST TOLD HIM NOT TO. He took the item off of Bonesy's spine. For some odd ass reason, the Bronieness didn't affect him (Plot Immunity). A ring Of Plot Convenience and a note that read "Throw this into the hole and look inside." Following the instructions, He and Celtic threw it into the crater and peered deep inside... ..... ...... ......and then a skeleton popped out. IT WAS BONESY! (Noone really cared though) (2sad4me) Kerbin: "W-WHHAATT!?!?!?!?! Celtic: "Meh. not surprised." Bonesy: "This is how the Skeleton race gained immortality. We resurrect when we pop out. As long as we can pop out, we can never die. Simple laws of Troll Science." Celtic: "That's great 'n all, but what about my weed?" Bonesy: (Hands Celtic some Pineapple Express) Celtic: "Thanx m8, glad your back BTdubs." Kerbin: "So.... What now?" Bonesy: "We must destroy all traces of the Brony Menace. Celtic?" Celtic: "(kof) (kof) Yeah m8?" Bonesy: "(Not realizing what he's doing) Take the Sword of Blatant Ripoffs. (Starting to wish he hadn't done this)." Celtic: "Hell yeah, wait, what does it do?" Kerbin: "It summons a familiar of your choice. (sigh). (Beginning to hate Bonesy for doing this) Celtic: "FUCK YEAH M8!!!" (summons a furry Ryuko Matoi.) Ryuko: "I love, and give my body to, ThatCelticFurry!!! KAWAIII!!!!" Bonesy: "I should not have done this." Kerbin: "Is she going to say that every hour or so?" Ryuko: "KAAAAAWWWWWAAAAIIIIIIIIII!!!" Bonesy: "Probably every few minutes." Celtic: "I see no problems here." Ryuko whispers "Kawaii" into Bonesy's ear. Bonesy: "OKAY,GIVE ME THE SWORD DAMMIT." Celtic: "nah." And then they all Began to eradicate all Brony, Pegasisters, and Vore-addicts from the Multiverse, except one. Crawling from the crater, with the use of Plot Immortality, enraged by the loss of his ear, AnimeFan has arisen, to take all the Troll Bases to belong to hims. But who bronified him, and why? All should probably be revealed in the second or third installment. To be Continued I basically ripped off Callie in making this,but i like it all the same. This is going to be a full trilogy, not even kekking bro. Oh yeah, and Memez and Jack are still stuck in Vault 420 so maybe that's gonna be the plot of third episode.